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Unconsoled in New York

January 21st, 2010

New York has always been the place where I go to get away from my dreams.  Like a character in an Ishiguro novel, I come in to the city, I have a job to do.  I do the job, and I get the job done.  It’s my favorite place to go, because I don’t have to remember anything, except for my name, and my hotel room number.  Even those things can be left behind, because I have the number on the passkey, and I have the name in my wallet.  There are sometimes other important details that come in and take over the busy part of my mind.  These details are what can help me to get exactly where I need to be.  

I like to stay in New York, because the business hotels are always willing to offer me the chance to become anonymous.  This suits me, because I was born rather anonymously, and most of my best works have been done without anyone knowing my name.  Most people have heard of me, and know my work very well, but they never connect the two.  It’s been difficult at times to keep them separate, since they are both famous for different reasons.  And extremely different reasons, at that.  But then again, you never know where you might end up, and where your work might end up, and we should not be surprised when they turn out to be different things entirely.  

The New York that takes my dreams away is the one I first found when I was learning my art.  This is the time that I first knew what I would be doing for the rest of my life.  I tried working in Los Angeles for a time, but found that the cameras everywhere made everyone want to be seen.  In New York, there are cameras, but they are like old friends that you don’t want to meet again, and they sometimes have a difficult time catching you, if you are careful about it.  I am not afraid of not dreaming when I work, and when I am dreaming, I find myself unconsolable.

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August 13th, 2009

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